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Taming My Inner Gremlin (aka Judy)

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We all have an ego. The ego definitely has a purpose; it’s been trying to keep us safe since dinosaur days. But let’s be honest... it could use a software update. So how can we work with it?


Here’s the thing: the ego starts to get loud when we try to make a change. When we think differently. When we shift our routines. That’s when it shows up with all its chatter and says things like:


  • “You’re going to fail.”

  • "What if you get hurt?”

  • “What if you lose money?”

  • “What will people think?”

  • “What if they laugh at you?”


The chatter goes on and on. It never sleeps.

Symptoms: self-doubt, fear, anxiety.


Some people call this inner voice a “gremlin.” It pops up pretending to be your friend, “Hey, I’m just here to protect you!” but in reality, it pushes you off your path while smiling sweetly.


And when you’re in the middle of transformation or big change, that gremlin gets LOUD. Very chatty.


A coach of mine once said it helps to give that voice a name. So I did. I named mine Judy.


Over time, I’ve learned to make peace with Judy. Because she’s part of me. Her intentions are good, even if her delivery is... intense. And she really thinks she’s helping.


Now, when Judy shows up, I thank her. I tell her, “I’ve got this.” Because she wants to feel useful, I give her a job—one that helps me move forward.


For example: Let’s say I’m thinking about publishing a book. Judy jumps in right away:


  • “People will think you’re a fraud."

  • “Can you really write?”

  • “Who do you think you are?”

  • "There are so many books out there, who would read yours?”


Instead of letting her derail me, I say:

“Thank you for trying to protect me, Judy. I hear you. Now, could you go point out all the ways I am making progress on this book? That would be really helpful.”


Boom. Judy now has a new task and she’s too busy helping to keep interrupting. When the chatter gets loud ask yourself:


  • Is this thought true—or just fear talking?

  • Is this helpful or holding me back?

  • What am I trying to protect myself from?

  • Would I say this to someone I love?

  • Is this an old story I’ve outgrown?

  • What might a more compassionate voice say instead?


And if the answer is fear, not helpful, and your inner critic is throwing you off your game...

Then I may say:  “Judy, Judy, Judy. Thank you. But I’ve got this. Can you come back with some reminders of how far I’ve come?”


They say when you name something, you bring it out of the shadows. You take away its power by acknowledging it. And acknowledgment is powerful—think about how good it feels just to be seen for something you did well.


Naming my inner critic gave me back control. It helped me stop letting her throw me off course. Now, instead of fighting with her, I work with her.


So, if that inner gremlin is getting loud in your head—maybe give it a name. Start a relationship. And see if the two of you can work together.


The inner critic can be tricky in the beginning, and it’s helpful to work with a third party to identify its patterns, allowing and learning to live in balance. Another good resource is the book by Rick Carson called Taming Your Gremlin: A Surprisingly Simple Method for Getting Out of Your Own Way.


Judy and I, signing off.





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