When You Don’t Know Where to Start—Try Stillness

One of my favorite photos is of my niece, sitting quietly, watching the summer sun rise. She wasn’t asking for the next step. She was just there, soaking it in.

We all hit those moments where we feel stuck. There’s something we want to begin a project, a shift, a change but we don’t know where to start. And that uncertainty can feel heavy. Frustrating. Even paralyzing.

I found myself in that space recently. I kept asking: Where do I begin? What’s my next move? What’s the right step forward?

I wanted clarity. I wanted direction. I wanted someone to just tell me what to do or show me the future.

But what I received instead was this:   Be still.

Not what I wanted to hear.

I wanted an action plan. A breakthrough. A starting point.

But the only response that kept coming was a gentle, repeated nudge:  Be still.

At first, I resisted. I’m someone who likes movement, progress and doing.  Stillness felt like doing nothing. But the truth is, I was caught in my head spinning stories, imagining outcomes, trying to plan it all before taking the first step. And when we’re that deep in the noise of our own thinking, we can’t hear the wisdom trying to come through. Because the answers aren't always clear and more often, they arrive in the quiet when you give yourself space.

Stillness isn’t about being frozen or inactive. It’s about creating enough space for something so you can hear. It’s about separating yourself from distractions like the phone, the noise around you, the “shoulds” and allow yourself to just be still.

Here’s what I’ve learned: When you’re unsure, when you’re in your head, when you’re searching for “the answer”...Stillness is the most powerful place to begin.

It’s not complicated. It doesn’t require perfection. It’s just a practice, a way of turning inward, slowing down life’s pace and saying I am ready to listen and allowing space for the answers to emerge.

If this resonates, here’s how you can begin:

1. Find a quiet spot. Sit in a chair, on the ground, or in nature (nature’s a bonus).

2. No distractions. Turn off your phone, step away from chores, leave the to-do list behind.

3. Set a timer for 10 minutes. You don’t need more to begin and just be still.

4. Choose one anchor. A single word, your breath, an object, or a phrase like “just for this moment".

5. Close your eyes (if it feels safe). Breathe in and out without judgment for a period of time.

6. Let thoughts pass. When a thought pops in (yes, even about ice cream or your to-do list), simply acknowledge it and let it float by.

7. Place a hand on your heart. When your mind wanders, return to your breath and feel your heartbeat.

8. Ask your question of what you want… then release it. Don’t chase an answer, you are just to be being curious and letting the ask go.

9. Write down what comes afterwards. A word, an image, a sensation. Sometimes clarity comes later, when you least expect it but trust that that the process has been activated.

The answers may not arrive right away. They might whisper to you later while you’re washing dishes, getting ready to start your day or walking the dog. But they will come, when you’re ready to receive them.

So the next time you don’t know where to start, don’t rush to fill the space.

• Start by getting quiet.

• Start by letting go.

• Start with stillness.

You might be surprised what comes through!